Protecting My Son Meant Wishing for His Death

August 11, 2017

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I tell him that Miles has been a joyful son to have, my firstborn child. That from the beginning he has been quick, bright, an adventurer, a risk-taker. That one of the things that has defined him has been his brain. He got a first-class degree from Oxford. At 24 he was selected as one of five young people to represent Britain during the European Parliament’s Youth Convention. He started his own tech company at 26. He is writing a book in his spare time. He rides a motorbike, he sky dives, he dives with sharks. He practices qigong. He makes electronic music, he writes poetry. He is irascible, funny, kind, down to earth. He loves life, attacks it head on, dangerously, seeking adrenaline, sometimes foolhardy, learning from his flaws while exploring, always, his spiritual resources.

I am boasting about my son. But it is important the doctor should know about Miles’s brain, the brain that he and his team are now responsible for.

It is universally understood that a primal maternal instinct is to protect one’s young. To will the death of your child would appear to be a reversal of that instinct. But, as I found out, it can be the extension of it.

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